You can still find me at blog.websuccessagency.com and LifesAStartup.com.

See ya there.

A

I can speak to a group of hundreds with no problem - nervous yes, but still comfortable. Actually I think it’s pretty easy: people are forced to listen to you (at least look at you) and they generally laugh at your jokes. Put me in a cocktail party however and I want to pull out my iPhone and look busy - the grownup alternative to hiding under the table.

In the past year or two I’ve grown in this area and learned how to be a little effective in the cocktail party. To me, being effective includes:

• Making connections for future relationships
• Learning as much as I can

How to

How to hack the business cocktail party. The most important step is saved for last!

1. Arrive. Don’t worry about being fashionably late. Just get there about 5 minutes after it starts.

2. Get your drink. I prefer a glass of red wine, unless it’s hot as South Florida can be, then a cold beer. Why do I prefer a glass of wine? Because the point of the drink is to be social and something to do while you’re being social, and wine takes longer to drink. While 1 glass of wine may last the night, it will take 2-3 cold drinks to last for me.

If you don’t drink alcohol, you’re in the club of a number of insanely cool people who don’t drink for a hundred reasons - that’s cool. Grab a soda or water and you’re good.

3. Scout. find someone you think looks:

a. Interesting: Let’s be honest, sometimes it can be tempting to find the least interesting person, because if they reject you, then it’s no big deal. Don’t do that. Find someone who looks interesting to you.

b. Approachable: This is a tough one because many times someone looks unapproachable only because they’re trying not to look out-of-place. Just because someone’s buried in their Blackberry doesn’t mean they don’t walk to talk - actually, it might mean they do!

Another part of approachability is the whole click thing. You remember high school. We haven’t outgrown the clicks yet. If someone you’d like to talk to is in a circle of people who seem to know each other and not really care about anyone else, I suggest you wait until they are by themselves, then approach them. Don’t try and break the circle unless you’re a pro. Sometimes you get invited into the circle, but that’s left up to chance.

4. What do you do? I know, this is so rudimentary, but it works. Asking the person (if at a biz event) “What do you do?” is code for “Hey, you look interesting, let’s chat for a minute or two”. That’s really all it takes to start the conversation. If someone gives you a quick one-word answer and doesn’t ask about you, they either don’t want to talk or are really bad at it . No worries - just move on. Say, “Great, nice to meet you.” and move on! Don’t try and give them your card - just move on.

5. Be genuinely interested. I’m not going to expound on this too much here - you can see my recent post on this. Just be sincerely interested in the other person and seek to learn from them. I’ll write another post with some suggestions on how to guide questions and interactions when trying to learn from the other person.

I’ve found that a very successful conversation can be 95% the other person talking, with the right questions from you. That’s crazy I know, but people love to talk about themselves.

6. Exchange business cards. You must have a business card! For entrepreneurs, I suggest having multiple business cards: one for each company you’re talking about, and another personal business card when the discussion is not related to one specific company. I use my personal business card most of the time. See mine here.

7. Follow Up. This is the most important part of the process. This is the part of the process that is avoided 99% of the time and completely throws away any success you made in making connections.

Add your new contact into your Contact Relationship Manager system and add action steps relating to the person. I suggest steps (tasks) that include a quick “nice to meet you” email 3-4 days later (better than the next day). Then another action step about a month down the road, checking in with them to see how things are going (related to your discussion).

Do not skip this step! If you do, you might as well go out with your friends and family instead of a party centered around making connections.

Last Thought

Personal branding is about making connections - connections where you can give even more than you get. Make great connections and have fun.

Background

A strong personal brand is a springboard in life - especially for entrepreneurs. While it takes work, getting funding, partners, clients - everything needed for a successful business - is much easier when you have a strong personal brand. So it’s a worthy pursuit.

Aha

Now, when it comes to the strategy…

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. -Dale Carnegie

Twitter, Facebook, Chamber of Commerce, Cocktail Parties… What’s your strategy in these environments? Are you focused on getting other people interested in you? You wouldn’t say that and you make sure it doesn’t appear that way, but is that your intention?

Or are you, like Carnegie suggests, focused on other people, generally interested in them?

My Experience

A couple weeks ago I went to an event in Miami for web professionals called Refresh Miami. I had a great time. It was a great group of people.

I had some great conversations with a number of very sharp people. What never ceases to amaze me, though, is how few questions about me I ever get in these conversations. This doesn’t bother me because it gives me more time to learn from them, but I do feel like that habit keeps them from some great opportunities of learning from other people - more than just me of course.

You With Me?

Lets do our best to engage with people with a genuine interest in them, both through social networking and the “real thing”.

Well I’m back on track, losing weight, gaining muscle, and I’m feeling great. Now here’s my point: a huge part of personal branding is how you carry yourself. I’m not saying you can’t have a strong personal brand and be “overweight” at the same time - that would be stupid.

What I am saying is that keeping good care of your body (and energy) has a direct affect on the strength of your personal brand. You’ll look better, feel better, and carry yourself better.

On Saturday, June 13, at 12:01 AM EDT, Facebook will allow you to choose a username for your Facebook profile. Most imortantly, this will make your profile url easy to display and remember.

Two important things:

1. Log on as soon as you can on Saturday to make sure you secure the best url you can for your name. It’s a big world out there and chances are there are other people with your full name.

2. Choose carefully. Facebook will give you an option (looks like 1 of 4 options). Choose carefully because they’re saying that you can’t change it after you set it. I recommend choosing your name like “avinkline” if you can (your name, not mine :)).

More info on Facebook’s blog

Also, for about $60/yr you can purchase Vimeo Plus which gives you some great features like embedding in HD and controlling what sites your videos can be viewed on.

Pointing out the bad is always easy (and many times valuable). The question, though, is if you want your personal brand to be What’s Wrong in the World.

My observation is that being a critique may earn you points on the coolness scale, but often doesn’t give you points on the Know, Like, Trust scale.

Not to say you shouldn’t point out what’s not working (and even twitter about it), just be mindful of the overall brand you’re putting out there.

When I met Gary at the Future of Web Apps Conference in Miami this Winter, I asked him about his attitude that took him from zero to star: I’ll post that later. Right now I want to highlight something he said in his keynote there.

Gary said something to the effect of: “When did I reach my tipping point? I reached my tipping point when I had two viewers watching my show.”

While I’m sure everyone feels this way to one degree or another, I know that it’s way too easy for driven entrepreneurs to only appreciate what feels Big.

• We don’t take our businesses as serious as we should unless the revenue reaches a certain “respectable point”.
• We treat a few users listening to us as nothing in search for thousands (or millions).

The fact is, one person taking the time to read, listen, or watch what you have to say is huge, and you have a responsibility to those people. If you’re only focused on the thousands, you’ll probably never get there.

It’s said well to be “faithful with the little things”. That’s something we entrepreneurs need to take to heart.

Thanks for listening - really, thanks.

1. Intentional Picture. If you have a digital camera and a friend then all you’re lacking is taking the time and effort to get a few good shots of just you. They don’t have to be stuffy or have a pretty curtain background, just good shots that have a look that fits you.

2. Upper Body. In general, crop the picture if needed in order for your upper body (mainly shoulders & up) to be the focus.

3. Keep Handy. Keep the picture(s) handy in a folder on your computer so you can easily access them when creating new profiles.

4. Standard. In general, use the same picture or two for most of your profiles. This also helps you define a general look that defines your brand.

5. Genuine. Make sure the picture actually looks like you. When you meet someone online, they should be able to recognize you in person.

6. Just Do It. Don’t wait for a perfect picture. The important thing is to get a picture out there that follows the tips above and represents brand you.

Have any tips of your own? Help us out and comment below.